A Clover And Some Luck
by xxSiriusxxforeverxx
Summary: This is my story to try to get the position of the medicine cat apprentice. please read: At first Cloverpaw is disgusted when Fireclaw assigns her the job of caring for the badly hurt deputy. But she has a life in her paws, and she not going to lose it.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my story for the medicine cat apprentice challenge. Hope you like it!**

Cloverpaw matted the last of the cobwebs on the dirty bloody flesh and scurried out of the healing den, and into the nest den.

Cloverpaw's eyes drooped and exhaustion made it hard to focus. _"Finally, a nap," _she thought gratefully sinking into her nest. Rowanclaw, the clan deputy had been dragged in earlier this morning in a big bloody mess. A Monster had hit him. Cloverpaw couldn't stand to be in the same room as him, the smell and the sight made her sick.

A ginger Tom stalked in.

"Cloverpaw, I said to get cobwebs, not take a nap!" Fireclaw growled.

"Do I have to? He makes me sick!" whined Cloverpaw. Fireclaw's eyes widened in shock.

"How dare you talk that way! Rownaclaw was Shadowclan's deputy!" Fireclaw hissed.

_"Was," _thought Cloverpaw grumpily.

But Fireclaw wasn't finished, "And just for saying that you have to take full responsibility of him. This will be the test to get your Medicine cat name, you're almost ready." Cloverpaw shot her paw's.

"No fair!" she exclaimed.

"No, what happened to Rowanclaw isn't far. Now get your self into that room or I'll get Shadestar to back me up. Go on!" Fireclaw growled. Cloverpaw spun around and began padding towards the extra supplies.

"I didn't get the cobwebs yet," she meowed sulkily. Fireclaw rolled his eyes and settled down in his nest.

"I'll be right here if you need me," he yawned.

_"Oh so you get to take a nap," _thought Cloverpaw angrily. She grabbed some cobwebs in her mouth and stalked into the healing den. The sight of Rowanclaw almost made her puke. His ginger and black fur was completely gone and both his yellow eyes were missing. His front paws had been spared but his back paws were both twisted awkwardly forward. Scratches littered his entire body and he was missing an ear. Gross.

"I brought you some cobwebs," Cloverpaw meowed, her whole body shaking. He looked like some kind of monster. His jaws slowly opened thin trails of blood seeped out of his mouth.

"Thank you," he croaked. Shaking, she stepped forward and began plastering the cobwebs on. Her whole body shuddered with revulsion an fear.

"Just leave me alone. I know you want to. I'm disgusting. No ones saying but everyone's hoping I die," he meowed harshly. Cloverpaw jumped, not expecting to hear his voice again.

Mixed emotions rose up in her. Yes, it would be better if he died, he would out of his misery and no one would have to go through the pain of seeing their beloved deputy like this. But he couldn't die. None of Cloverpaw's patients had died yet and she wasn't going to ruin her clean record.

"You're not going to die! I won't let it!" she meowed forcefully. He twitched in surprise.

"Oh I will, eventually," he muttered. His slow breathing a few minutes later told Cloverpaw he was asleep. She got to work. First she dashed out side and soaked several moss balls with water. A few cat's eyed her strangely. Nether of the Medicine cats had been out in hours. The clan cats sat in gloomy groups that dotted camp.

Cloverpaw felt depression the air. Eager to get away from it she dashed back in side the Medcine cat den. She tore the cobwebs off and squeezed the water from the moss off onto Rowanclaw. The water washed off all the blood but new blood was already threatening to pour out of his many gashes. She quickly bandaged everything up with cobwebs. She left his face and back legs alone, he would need to help make those places better.

Once again exhaustion rushed over her. Eyelids drooping she dragged her body into the nest room, grabbed her nest in weary jaws, and then padded back to Rowanclaw. Cloverpaw lay down in her nest. Only then she realized that she still had Rownaclaw's dried blood caked on her. But it was too late to get up and wash, sleep had already claimed her.

_"Cloverpaw," meowed a musical voice. She opened her eyes. She was in a starry forest. "Starclan," she realized._

_Cloverpaw staggered to her feet. A tortoiseshell sat before her, a speckled tail wrapped around dainty paws._

_"Uh, hi?" Cloverpaw meowed nervously._

_"Cloverpaw, may I ask you a question?" she meowed hesitantly. Cloverpaw nodded, head cocked in confusion._

_"Why are you trying to save Rownaclaw?" the she cat meowed._

_"Because he's a cat. I can't let a fellow cat die, it's not right!" she exclaimed. Instantly guilt washed over here. A little while ago she didn't even want to go near him._

_"Cloverpaw, I'm warning you, Rownaclaw's is beyond even Starclan's help..."_

Cloverpaw woke up with a start. A dream like that would discourage most cat's but it only made Cloverpaw more determined. She picked her head up and peered around. Rowanclaw was in his nest but his rapid breathing told Cloverpaw he was awake.

She scrabbled to her feet, barely able to see in the small light that the moon cast into the den. Her gagging reflection activated when she saw Rowanclaw.

"I know I'm gross," Rowanclaw meowed.

"No you're not!" she meowed quickly, "Come on." she padded towards the entrance of the medicine cat den. He stared at her in shock.

"I can't!" he meowed angrily.

"Yes you can!" she meowed forcefully. She stalked forward and grabbed his hind legs. With powerful paws she forced them the right way. There was a grinding sound of bone on bone before they snapped into place. Well, one of them anyway.

"Owwwww!" screeched Rowanclaw. Tears streamed down his face. Gently she felt the leg that wouldn't go down.

"If I twist this it's going to snap off," she meowed quietly, gesturing towards his legs.

"Don't," he panted. She nodded.

"We're going to practice walking on this leg," she meowed. She gently ran a paw down the leg that she had just twisted back. He slowly put some weight on it.

"Great Starclan," he moaned. His bad leg gave way and his twisted leg banged the floor sharply.

Rowanclaw's face twisted in pain.

"I'm sorry!" cried Cloverpaw.

"No, don't be," he muttered. With a groan he heaved him self to his feet. Determination flashed through his eyes as he walked forward.

"Great! That's enough for tonight," meowed Cloverpaw.

Rowanclaw sank down into his nest. His labored breaths slowed and once he had drifted off again Cloverpaw dashed out of the medicine cat den. She needed fresh air.

Cloverpaw swept out of camp and into the pine trees. The familiar piney smell flooded her glands and the pine needles provided thick padding under her paws.

Cloverpaw bounded towards the river that twisted it's way through Shadowclan territory. It was trickling slowly and the surface was barely rippling. Slowly Cloverpaw waded into the clear cool water, relishing in the cold. The dried blood was washed off her fur and traveled downstream in a red cloud.

Everything felt so peaceful, the owls hooting, the crisp autumn wind. She closed her eyes.

After a while the first rays of sunlight peeked through the pine trees. Cloverpaw bounded out of the water, knowing she'd be missed if didn't get back soon. She shook her light brown and white dappled fur free of water and bounded back towards camp.

When she arrived she found that Rowanclaw was struggling towards the fresh kill pile. Cats stopped and watched respectfully as their deputy hauled him self to the fresh kill. Cloverpaw knew what she had to do but it made her nose wrinkle in distaste.

Wanting to get it over with she hurried to Rowanclaw's side and pressed up against his bloody flank, supporting him.

"Thank... Thank you," he panted. When he arrived at the pile he lifted his head triumphantly and took a giant rabbit.

"You going to eat all of that?" Cloverpaw meowed, forcing out a teasing tone.

"Probably not, you want to share?" he meowed happily. Cloverpaw's stomach twisted. Did she really have to take a bite out of the same piece of prey he was going to eat?

She was silent for a moment.

"Sorry, I know I'm kind of gross," he meowed quickly.

"No no!" she meowed. Rowanclaw looked grateful. He bent down and took a small bite, leaving a small coating of blood behind. Swallowing down her disgust, Cloverpaw bent forward and nibbled at the end of the mouse. When it was Rowanclaw's turn he hungrily began gobbling down the rabbit again.

"Sorry," he stopped, picking his head up guiltily.

"It's fine, you finish it. I'm not hungry," Cloverpaw lied. Rowanclaw smiled.

"You're a good kid, you know?" he meowed finishing the rest.

"Why don't you get some fresh air before the gathering tonight?" suggested Rowanclaw. She nodded obediently.

"Hey Cloverpaw! Come over here!" called a yellow apprentice. Cloverpaw flushed. It was Lionpaw, the best looking apprentice in Shadowclan.

"You better go," meowed Rowanclaw a small smile twisting his muzzle.

"See you later!" called Cloverpaw, bounding towards her friends. Lionpaw, Frogpaw and Whisperpaw were all waiting for her.

"We're going on a hunting patrol. Want to come with us and collect herbs?" asked Frogpaw, her brother, brightly.

"Sure!" Cloverpaw meowed. The three apprentice's mentors came over.

"You got Cloverpaw to come?" meowed the youngest mentor, Foxheart. Lionpaw nodded.

"Yeah, she must be glad to get away from that stinkball," Lionpaw meowed a small laugh emerging from his handsome muzzle.

Foxheart, his mentor, chuckled along too. The other two warriors and apprentices frowned.

"Lionpaw, I expected more of you. Rowanclaw is still our deputy," meowed Fogfur, a misty white senior warrior.

"And he deserves to treated with respect," added Coldfoot. Lionpaw rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay," he snapped, "let's just get going."

Frogpaw fell in step with Cloverpaw.

"How come you let them get away with treating your patient like that?" her mottled brown and black brother asked curiously.

"They're kind of right," shrugged Cloverpaw. Whisperpaw spun around, her silver eyes flashing.

"If you think that's true for just a second then you're a mouse brain!" hissed Whisperpaw. Cloverpaw turned red. She hadn't remembered that Whisperpaw was Rowanclaw's daughter.

"Sorry," Cloverpaw muttered.

Tears welled up in Whisperpaw's eyes.

"No you're not!" she growled. Whisperpaw spun around and increased her pace, leaving Cloverpaw and Frogpaw behind.

"Whisperpaw's kind right," meowed Frogpaw hesitantly.

"You only think that cause you're in loooooove!" hissed Cloverpaw. This time it was Cloverpaw who quickened her pace. She caught up to Lionpaw with easy strides.

"Hey," smirked Lionpaw.

"Hi!" Cloverpaw meowed brightly.

The golden apprentice crouched down and snagged a squirrel.

"Wow," Cloverpaw meowed admiringly.

"Maybe you should have decided to become a warrior instead of taking care of an old bag of fleas," Lionpaw taunted. The insult hit Cloverpaw hard.

"You're a jerk," she hissed. With that Cloverpaw spun around and raced in the opposite direction. She finally came to a spot under a thickly nettled pine tree. Deep sobs racked her body and she collapsed n the cold earth.

Cloverpaw didn't know what to think. She agreed with Lionpaw to some level but. She kept seeing more and more of the old deputy alive in Rowanclaw. She found that she didn't want the old deputy to die. Not to ruin her clean record but because of the reason she told the Starclan cat. Because he was a cat that needed her help.

Soon the sobs subsided into silent tears and then finally into nothing. She just sat there, gently rocking back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. The motions calmed her down. By the time she recovered she didn't know how much time had passed.

"Cloverpaw!" called a voice. It was Fireclaw. Wearily she hauled her self to her paws and slowly padded out of her hiding spot. The ginger medicine cat jumped in surprise as she emerged.

"Cloverpaw! Where have you been?" he growled. But his eyes softened when he saw her tear streaked face.

"What happened?" he meowed quietly.

"Nothing," she muttered, brushing by him quickly. He frowned, but didn't force her to tell him. The two were silent on the way back to camp. When they arrived heads swiveled towards Cloverpaw.

"Cloverpaw!" cried a voice in relief. It was her mother, Whitefall.

"I'm fine," muttered Cloverpaw growled, pushing her mother aside.

"So glad you could join us Cloverpaw," meowed Shadestar icily. Cloverpaw flinched.

"It's fine, I told her to go take a walk," croaked a new voice. Murmurs of surprise swept through Shadowclan as Rowanclaw hoisted him self across the clearing. Cloverpaw sighed in relief as the attention turned to him and away from her.

"Why don't you go back to your den?" Shadestar meowed gently. Even with no eyes he managed to look surprise.

"What are you talking about? I'm the deputy, I'm coming to the gathering!" Rowanclaw snapped. Everyone went utterly silent. Cloverpaw's tail twitched nervously. Shadestar sighed.

"Fireclaw, is he well enough to come?" Shadestar asked.

"Ask Cloverpaw, he's her project," Fireclaw replied.

Anger shot through Cloverpaw.

"Rowanclaw is not a project! And yes. He's doing fine, he can go," hissed Cloverpaw. It was and lie and everyone knew it. But yet Shadestar nodded slowly

"Okay, lets move out," the leader meowed. The group chosen for the gathering began to make it's way out of camp. Rowanclaw struggled forward, breathing heavily.

"Are you sure you can make it?" asked Cloverpaw, surprised to feel concerned.

He spun around. If he could glare he would of.

"I'm fine," he hissed, lurching forward. Slowly they fell farther behind the group.

"We better go back," Cloverpaw meowed sadly.

"No!" exclaimed Rowanclaw. Sighing, Cloverpaw pressed her should against his bloody matted side, and helped him forward.

When they arrived the entire gathering place went silent.

"That's the Shadowclan deputy that got hit by a monster. I hear he's on the verge of death," muttered a Riverclan apprentice to his neighbor.

"Yeah, I heard that Starclan found out that he murdered a cat and made him get hit by a monster," whispered a Thunderclan apprentice back. Fury pounded through Cloverpaw. The two apprentice's realized that everyone could hear them. Guilty expressions crossed their faces but Cloverpaw didn't care.

With a furious yowl Cloverpaw launched her self at them. She didn't care about anything, only that these two apprentice's were going to het ripped to shreds. Her claw connected with the Thunderclan apprentice's face. He yowled in agony.

"Rushpaw!" he screamed. The Riverclan apprentice who Cloverpaw assumed was Rushpaw darted forward and raked Cloverpaw across the face.

"That's for Lighteningpaw!" she snarled. Lighteningpaw recovered from the original blow and tackled Cloverpaw. Fear exploded in Cloverpaw's chest. When she had first attacked she had known nothing but blind fury. She had never stopped to consider that these were warrior apprentice's. She was a medicine cat apprentice.

Lighteningpaw pinned her down and Rushpaw grabbed her face with her claws and dug them in. Cloverpaw had never known such pain. Why weren't the leaders stopping these two apprentice's? Her face felt like it was on fire. Faints voices reached her ears but all she knew was the pain.

"Cloverpaw!" This voice came out long and clear. And she knew who it belonged to. Rowanclaw. Someone lugged Lighteningpaw off her.

_"Get Rushpaw!" _she wanted to scream. Finally the claws came out of her face. The fiery pain subsided a little.

"Cloverpaw! Cloverpaw! Are you alright?" it was Fireclaw. She leaned against him wishing everything would just end.

"How dare you?" Shadestar hissed. Through her blood stained vision Cloverpaw could barely make out her leader confronting the two apprentice's. They cowered down.

"She attacked Ligteningpaw!" exclaimed Rushpaw hotly.

"So you had to do this! I mean really, how much damage could a medicine cat _apprentice _do to your precious little Lighteningpaw?" exploded Shadestar.

"Shadestar please!" meowed a pained voice. It was Stonestar, the Riverclan leader.

"She deserves to be taught a lesson. I doth care how much you like her, Rushpaw is a monster!" sneered Shadestar. Stonestar's eyes narrowed at his apprentice.

"Oh, Rushpaw will be punished. I just don't want her dead," the Riverclan leader growled. Rushpaw flinched. Shadestar looked satisfied.

"Back to camp everyone!" Shadestar announced. Fireclaw scooped up Cloverpaw.

By the time she got back to her nest she was fast asleep.

**Okay, that's the first chapter. There's going to probably be about three chapters. Review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you Isi so much for reviewing! I'm glad you liked this. This chapter is going to be from Rowanclaw's P.O.V. and I've decided to do first person for all his P.O.V.**

Rowanclaw's P.O.V.

I could hear her her sleeping. Her gentle breathing filled the silent cave. Moonlight streamed in, slightly illuminating my dark vision. Memories of earlier that night came flashing back.

_The air was suffocating as Rowanclaw entered the gathering place. Only Cloverpaw's steady shoulder was keeping him here. He couldn't see anything but he could imagine the jeering faces and comments being directed at him. Two voices rung out._

_"That's Shadowclan's old deputy."_

_"Yeah, I heard he murdered some one and Starclan punished him."_

_Rowanclaw felt the weight of Cloverpaw on his shoulder disappear. Her scent streaked forward. He heard a muffled yowl and dread clouded him. He knew what was happening._

_Shrieks echoed through out the silent gathering place._

_"Why isn't anyone stopping them?" roared Rowanclaw. Cats around him scrambled forward, trying to break up the battle. _

_One shriek rose above the rest. Cloverpaw. It was high and pained, like a dying animal._

_"Someone help her!" screamed Rowanclaw. His missing eye sight was never more disliked by him self. Letting his nose take control he lunged forward. His claws sank into flesh. He smelled his enemy. It was a she cat from Riverclan, apprentice age. He hauled her away._

_Cloverpaw's screams stopped and subsided into crying, long racking sobs of pain. Tears flooded Rowanclaw's mutilated eye sockets. Sharp voices argued back and forth but Rowanclaw could only focus on Cloverpaw's pain. This brought back an unwanted memory._

_..._

_The sun was high in the sky and the forest smells were all around the patrol. _

_"Are we almost to the Thunderpath?" whined a voice. It was Whisperpaw, "My paws are ready to fall off!"_

_Rowanclaw smiled at his daughter and rumpled her fur with his tail, "We're almost there."_

_"You shouldn't be so easy on her. She needs to toughen up," meowed Fogfur, Whisperpaw's mentor. Whisperpaw stuck her tongue out at the senior warrior. Rowanclaw laughed._

_"You have a pawful there," Rowanclaw grinned._

_"Yeah and you better help me because she's your daughter," retorted Fogfur. Whisperpaw laughed happily. Rowanclaw faced his daughter._

_"We're here," he meowed stepping out onto the hot black road._

_Whisperpaw wrinkled her nose._

_"I thought it would be cooler," she meowed sadly._

_"Cooler? Are you to afraid to try this?" Rowanclaw challenged, jumping out onto the road._

_"No way!" exclaimed Whisperpaw._

_"Rowanclaw, a monsters coming," warned Fogfur._

_"It's okay, I'll get off when it comes," Rowanclaw replied breezily._

_"Daddy get off," Whisperpaw ordered._

_"Not so tough anymore," teased Rowanclaw._

_The monster rounded the corner and came speeding towards Rowanclaw._

_"Let's see how long I can stay here," Rowanclaw meowed, a gleam in his eyes._

_"Rowanclaw," warned Fogfur._

_"Daddy get off!" Whisperpaw said again, this time in a small scared voice._

_"What? You don't-"_

_The monster rammed forward smashing into the tom in the middle of his sentence._

_"Daddy!" screamed Whisperpaw._

_Pain beyond pain lanced through Rowanclaw. Instinctively he rolled to the side avoiding getting his spin cracked. Steel pointy things tore into his eyes, tearing one out. His legs were being crushed under cold metal and finally darkness consumed him._

I shivered, pushing away the pain. But the pain always came, whether it came like claws, slashing and sudden or like darkness, slow, consuming, creeping through me. Cloverpaw woke with a start.

I could sense that her face was still covered in scratches and bleeding through layers of cobwebs, but she still hauled her self to her paws to come see if I was okay.

"Did you have those Nightmares again?" she whispered.

I laughed darkly, "More like _awake-_mares." Cloverpaw laughed weakly but I could tell that she was in pain.

"You're the one who needs a medicine cat! Should I call Fireclaw?" I asked.

"No way! This face scratch is nothing compared to what you went through," she countered.

"I guess you're right," I sigh. Again, that feeling of utter uselessness flooded through me. I guessed Cloverpaw could see it because she hissed in annoyance.

"Whining isn't going to make you feel any better," she growled. I hissed in disbelief.

"I was run over by a Monster and all you've got for me is _stop whining_!" I growled angrily.

"I'm right! All you ever do is feel sorry for your self! It's _I'm sorry I know I'm disgusting _or _it's okay, you don't need to eat with me, I'm gross_," Cloverpaw snapped, "This needs to stop! There's no worse way to die then to die because you've completely given up on living!"

"Oh that's easy for you to say! You're not the one who got smashed by a _freaking Monster_!" I hissed sarcastically.

"You're hopeless," she growled, spinning around and retreating to the medicine cat sleeping area.

"Hopeless I'm I? You're the hopeless one! I should better by now!" I called cruelly. Cloverpaw froze.

Muffled sobs break the seemingly impenetrable silence.

She spun around. I could smell her tears and sense her fury.

"Do you want to die? Because Fireclaw and I could give up on you! Yeah, maybe I am hopeless. But you're a flea bag, and a bad excuse of a deputy! What happened to the old Rowanclaw huh? What happened to the kind, caring deputy who loved Shadowclan?" Cloverpaw screamed.

I winced, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" But she was gone, sweeping away like a shadow in the night.

Anger pounded through me. She didn't understand. She was just a silly weak apprentice, probably just as grossed out by me as everyone else. Suddenly I knew what I was going to do.

Soon enough I could feel it's warmth as the sun arched high into the sky and a new day began. Cats hurried out of their dens, and began their bustling about. How I ached to get up and join them, to organize a patrol, maybe even to be _on _a patrol.

I traced Fogfur's scent with open jealousy. He was filling in for me but everyone knew it wouldn't be long till he was permanent. Fogfur sensed me and I could feel sympathy rolling away from him. But he quickly turning back to an angry Duskwhisker. Apparently Duskwhisker was mad because he couldn't go on a patrol with his mate, Leaffall.

I knew how I would handle it. I would tell Duskwhisker to suck it up and keep working. That's the kind of deputy a clan likes, efficient and stern. But instead a bumbling idiot was filling in for me.

"I'm sorry- I just, you just can't go with her!" Fogfur stuttered. Duskwhisker hissed angrily.

"Why do I have to do what you want, you're not even deputy?" the brown tom replied angrily. Fogfur winced.

"Enough!" I roared. I could imagine both toms staring at me in surprise, me, a bag of blood and bones lying at the entrance to the medicine cat den in a patch of sun like an elder.

"Fogfur is deputy until I recover, and you treat him respectfully! Duskwhisker, go away!" I continue. I sensed Duskwhisker nodding. I could tell he was ticked off, but he seemed glad to have someone authoritative.

"Thanks," sighed Fogfur.

"Don't mention it," I muttered. The fact of what I was going to do hits me, and it hit me hard. I didn't want to leave all my friends. But then my argument with Cloverpaw earlier flooded back. I was going to carry out my plan, whether I liked it or not.

Soon the sun was baking everything in sight, and the clan cat's grouped together to share tongues. This was my chance. Tail pressed down to the searing earth, I started to slink out of the dirt place entrance.

"Dad?" meowed a small voice. I spun around, dread growing in the pit of my stomach. No, I did not want to see her. Not right now, not before this.

Whisperpaw stood in front of me, and I could almost imagine her thin layer of blue gray fur blowing gently.

"What?" My word came out too, rough, too harsh. I sensed Whisperpaw flinch.

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to share a mouse," she murmured nervously.

A gentle feeling swooped through me. I so wanted to share a mouse with my daughter, but I couldn't. Not now.

"No!" I snapped. Again, everything came out to harsh. Grief filled the air around her and I could smell tears filling her gray eyes.

"I don't know what happened to you! Yeah, I know you could have died. But you seem to wish you had! What about me? What about mom?" Whisperpaw hissed fiercely. Her words seem like Cloverpaw's.

What if they're right? What if I was just being a pessimist, and things could get better? No, they were wrong. I was a monster, a disgrace to Shadowclan. No cat wanted me. I should dead, I wanted to be dead.

"I don't know what happened to him either," I snarled back to my daughter, before striding out into the forest. I could almost feel her glare as I stalked off.

"What happened?" she repeated. What had happened? All I knew was that I was going to die. Being trapped in this former shell of my self was torture. My former athletic body, full of energy, had wasted away into this torn up skin that I wore around my self like prison bars.

I was going to die. I chanted this in side my head, like it would make me feel better. But it didn't, and instead my muscles were aching and my torn up leg and flesh bleeding freely. Cloverpaw had told me not to walk too much and I was disobeying her.

As though I was in a trance, I stopped at a swift, icy flowing river, the border that divided Thunderclan and Shadowclan territory. I stared blindly down into it. Of course I couldn't see it, but I could sense it. The earth shook gently under my paws, letting my know it was flowing fast and deep, cutting through the ground like a knife.

Wind, and spray from the water ruffled my pelt, another sign that it was moving fast. Also, the roar of the river told me one step into it would be fatal.

But that's what I wanted right? I wanted to die, that was my amazing master plan. But suddenly it didn't seem so brilliant any more. My stomach churned my head pounded.

"You have to do it," I said aloud, "No one wants you. You're useless and should be dead. A disgrace." I took a step forward, and felt some of the rock give way under my paws. I squeezed my eyes shut, even though it made no difference.

"That's not true. You're lying to your self, Rowanclaw," meowed a new voice.

Cloverpaw's scent flooded my glands as she stepped out of the trees.

"Please don't do it, Rowanclaw. I promise everything will get better," she pleaded. I sensed emotion rolling away from her in waves but I couldn't place it.

"You don't understand. You don't understand how it's like, how it's like to be in a broken body. To hurt every time you breath. To hold everyone's pity, and disgust," I croaked, tottering closer to the edge.

"Tell me! I want to help you, I do!" Cloverpaw cried desperately, leaping forward to pull me back.

"Move again and I'll jump," I warned. I could sense panic flooding her mind but she froze.

"You don't understand, and you never will," I continued. I sensed Cloverpaw's emotion and was surprised. She was furious.

"Do you know how pathetic you sound? I'm done babying you, Rowanclaw. I understand and sympathize with your predicament. But a good warrior would be focusing on getting better, and receiving his position as deputy again!" Cloverpaw hissed.

"There you go again! I don't know why everyone thinks I'm feeling sorry for my self!" I snapped.

"Because you are!" Cloverpaw snarled. I flinched.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

Fury pounding through me, I flung my self at her. She jumped away like she had been expecting my move. This made me even more furious. I lashed out, out of the blue, catching her muzzle. I could feel the warm drops of blood against my fur. Her blood. She wailed in pain and leaped back, front legs flailing uselessly against my on slot.

As my claws tore into her chest she moaned in pain.

"Please, Rowanclaw, I was just trying to get you mad to get you away from the river," she hissed between teeth clenched with pain. I froze. What was I doing? Even if she was wrong I was attacking a clan mate! A medicine cat no less!

"I'm- sorry, I'm, I'm a monster. Cloverpaw, I'm so sorry," I stuttered.

I never could quite figure out how she got to be so selfless and say, "No it's my fault," when she was the one lying on the ground, bleeding.

"How can you say that?" I whispered, terror pounding through me. She smiled weakly.

"I'll say that I got attacked by a fox if you promise to never go near that river again," Cloverpaw offered.

"No, I clan needs to know that I'm a danger," I muttered, looking in disbelief at my bloodstained claws. Whisperpaw was right, where was the old Rowanclaw?

"No they don't, because you're not one. Not trying to be annoying but I kind of need to get back to camp," Cloverpaw meowed forcefully. I didn't argue, just scooped her up and carried her back to camp. I was going to stop feeling sorry for my self and do something useful.

When we arrived back at camp several hisses of surprise filled the air.

"Cloverpaw!" Whitefall, moaned rushing forward, "Oh Fireclaw come quick!" Toadpaw and Brackenfoot, Cloverpaw's brother and father, padded over too.

"What happened?" It was Fireclaw, getting down to business. I couldn't talk. My mouth was dry.

"We got attacked by foxes. Rowanclaw saved me," Cloverpaw muttered. She clearly didn't like all the attention.

"It's funny that the able cat is wounded and the wounded cat is perfectly fine and just magically is able to fight off the foxes when he can barely walk," Toadpaw hissed. I flinched.

"Finally, some cat agrees with me! Rowanclaw's menace! Look what he did to Cloverpaw!" yelled Lionpaw. By now a large crowd and formed around Cloverpaw and I. I swallowed. These apprentices were getting dangerously close to the truth.

"Do you think I'm lying? Rowanclaw saved me!" Cloverpaw snarled. The clearing went deadly quiet.

"Cloverpaw is right, young Tom. We have no reasons to suspect Rowanclaw of anything," Shadestar meowed.

"Is our clan coming to when a cat is run over by a monster he's immediately suspected of crime?" Cloverpaw meowed sarcastically.

"Don't talk about my clan that way!" hissed Shadestar.

"Shadestar, please, Cloverpaw needs to be alone," Fireclaw pleaded. He gently hauled his apprentice back torwards his den, nodding to me to follow him.

"Not sure if it's smart to let the wanna be murderer in the same den as your sister," whispered Lionpaw to Toadpaw. My fur bristled and Lionpaw laughed slightly.

"What did you say Lionpaw?" I asked, struggling to keep a hand on my emotions.

"Nothing," he smirked. Fury rushed through me, and I stepped forward.

"I said, _what did you say_! Answer me!" I hissed. Lionpaw cowered slightly but refused to answer. I was about to sink my claws into his arrogant little head when Shadestar's voice rang out. We had caught her attention.

"Do what he says, Lionpaw," Shadestar meowed lightly but with a dangerous tone underneath.

Lionpaw gulped.

"I said that I didn't think it was a good idea to let a murderer in the same den as a wounded cat," he muttered. Shadestar let out a low hiss.

"How dare you suspect my deputy of attempted murder! You are confined to camp for two moons, Lionpaw," Shadestar snarled, before sweeping away. Lionpaw growled softly at me before walking away as well.

Then guilt plagued me. In a way Lionpaw was right. I had almost killed Cloverpaw. With a heavy heart I plodded back into Fireclaw's den.

When I arrived inside Fireclaw's sent greeted me.

"Cloverpaw's asleep," he meowed quietly. I nodded.

"I- I have a question for you," Fireclaw murmured hesitantly, "Was it really a fox?"

"It was me," I whispered. He nodded.

"I found your fur in her claws. But I'm not going to ask why. I know she still trusts you enough to lie for you," Fireclaw sighed. I nodded again, this time grateful.

"Thank you."

"You know, she's trying so hard to keep you alive. You should try too," Fireclaw meowed nervously, as if he was afraid I'd flip out on him and attack him too.

"I'll try."

**Another chapter! Yippy! I'm trying to pack as much emotion in as possible. The last chapter will be out soon!**

**-Minnowkit of Fadedclan in the warriors challenge forum**

**Or **

**Madison :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Cloverpaw was worried. A few weeks ago when she had stopped Rowanclaw from plunging to certain death, into the icy river, she had got him to try. To try to stay alive. And he was trying. Hard. But it was like all the energy was being sucked out of him.

Every day he'd wake with a bright cheery attitude and did his exercises. But it was like a sickness had consumed him on top of his injury. Some days he just couldn't get up, and Rowanclaw had developed a deep, worrying cough.

Right this moment she was padding with long purposeful strides to the Thunderclan border. The forest scents reached her nose and she wrinkled it in distaste. She much preferred the piney smell of Shadowclan.

Soon voices reached her ear. She fidgeted nervously. She hadn't asked for permission before going to Thunderclan. Fireclaw was in Riverclan, because their medicine cat had developed a terrible cold. She had no one to ask about Rowanclaw's strange condition.

The voices subsided and she guessed that the Thunderclan patrol had scented her.

"Intruder," hissed a voice. Cloverpaw shuffled her paws, making sure she was well on her side. It wouldn't be good if Shadowclan was accused of an invasion because of her. The patrol came into view.

Cloverpaw quickly scanned her eyes over the cat's. There three large toms, a she cat, and a small apprentice with glaring eyes. Her heart dropped. She recognized the apprentice's thick golden fur. Lightningpaw.

Lightningpaw was a young apprentice who Cloverpaw had met at a gathering. When he had saw Rowanclaw he had started whispering rumors about the former deputy and Cloverpaw was sorry to say she hadn't taken well to that. She instinctively swiped her tail over the tiny scars on her face.

Lightningpaw had seen her too because his frown deepened. A giant red tom stepped forward.

"What do you need?" he meowed. His tone was gruff, hinting that he was only being respectful because she was a medicine cat.

"I need to talk to Honeytail," Cloverpaw meowed, her voice wobbling. If these warriors decided to chase her off, she'd be crowfood.

"Why?" questioned the she cat. Her creamy fur bristled along her spin. Cloverpaw growled in annoyance. She was a medicine cat. How dare they question her! She put on the smooth mask Fireclaw used when dealing with enemy warriors and rolled her eyes.

"It's none of your business. It's medicine cat business. Now please, may we move on?" she said icily. The patrol looked shocked.

"You're just an arrogant little dungball," Lightningpaw hissed. He looked pleased at his come back.

"At least I don't look like fluffy ball of sunshine," she said coldly. He narrowed his eyes.

"Hey wart face! How's your friend doing? You know, the one that got mashed by a car?" he growled. A striped brown Tom stepped forward.

"Enough you two! Lightningpaw, you're cleaning out the elder's den for a moon. That's not the way you talk to an visitor and talk about a deputy," he hissed. The last tom, a black one raised his eyebrows at Cloverpaw.

"And please refrain from calling my apprentice a fluffy ball of sunshine," the black Tom meowed, a hint of amusement lightening his tone. She nodded.

"But please, this is urgent," Cloverpaw meowed. The first orange Tom nodded.

"We will take you to camp," he meowed, before striding off into the undergrowth. The black Tom fell in step with Cloverpaw. She noticed he was younger then he had first appeared, with large kind amber eyes.

"Hello, I'm Nightclaw," he meowed, "Sorry about that."

"No worries," Cloverpaw said breezily, "I think he's just scared I'm going to claw his face off again." Nightclaw laughed.

"Yeah, he was given quite a punishment for speaking about your deputy like that. And onto of that, every cat in Thunderclan was giving him a hard time about those scratches he gave you. He kind of hates you," Nightclaw purred.

Cloverpaw shrugged uncomfortably. Lightningpaw was a slime ball, but she wished he didn't hate her.

"So, who are the others," she meowed, changing the subject.

"Well the big orange guy is Flameheart, and the striped Tom is Slashfur. Dewpelt is the she cat and of course Lightningpaw is my apprentice," Nightclaw recited. She nodded.

Soon they arrived at Thunderclan camp. Lightningpaw seemed to be trying to tell Flameheart that she was going to tell all their secrets to Shadowclan.

"I'm a medicine cat for Starclan's sake! More battles mean more work for me!" Cloverpaw meowed irritably, lashing her tail. Flameheart nodded and led the way into a tunnel of brambles.

The brambles snagged at her fur, making the journey annoying. She was glad when they burst out into Thunderclan camp. She was amazed at how similar it was to Shadowclan.

Leafstar, the Thunderclan leader greeted the patrol before turning to look in confusion at Cloverpaw.

"What is she doing here?" demanding the brown she cat. Flameheart bowed his head.

"She needs to speak with Honeytail," the orange Tom murmured. Leafstar nodded but looked uneasily at Lightningpaw.

"Well do your business quickly and then get out," Leafstar meowed abruptly to Cloverpaw. Cloverpaw winced but she understood the Leader's concern. If she were leader she wouldn't want unrest between a Shadowclan cat and one of her apprentice's.

"Yes Leafstar," she meowed quietly before hurrying over to Honeytail's den. Leafstar's sharp conversation with Lightningpaw carried back to her.

"Go hunt and I don't want to see your face till that medicine cat is gone!" Leafstar hissed.

"Y-yes," Lightningpaw muttered before dashing off. Cloverpaw entered the medicine cat den with a strange feeling of guilt. The honey colored medicine cat looked up in surprise when she saw Cloverpaw.

"Cloverpaw! What's wrong?" Honeytail asked in concern. Cloverpaw let her smooth composure slip and she raced over to her friend.

"Rowanclaw seems to have taken a turn for the the worse and Fireclaw's not here and don't know what to do!" she blurted out. Honeytail smiled kindly.

"Sweetie, Rowanclaw might of lost the will to live," Honeytail meowed. Cloverpaw shook her head.

"No no! We went through that last week. Stupid tom tried to kill him self. This is different. He's trying he really is but he just can't do anything. He has no energy," Cloverpaw babbled. Honeytail frowned.

"He might of caught cold from just sitting around so much," suggested Honeytail. Cloverpaw nodded.

"I thought it might be that. But I checked him. He has no fever, no headache. Just a cough and this energy draining thing," Cloverpaw said.

"No, from what you've said he's definitely sick. I think one of his wounds must of caught an infection. That can make you feel energy drained, and if it gets severe enough it can cause a cold," Honeytail said gravely.

"What do I do?" wailed Cloverpaw.

"Shhh. It's okay. Just check him over and find the infected wound. It might be very tiny even, something you missed when you changed his bandages. Put some marigold on but if it's serious only this will really help," Honeytail continued, producing a small bundle of herbs.

"This is Catmint. I'm sure you've heard of it," Honeytail meowed.

"Yeah, Fireclaw used it once to treat a cat with green cough," Cloverpaw meowed, "But how is it going to help?"

"It will attack the cold and kill it by destroying the source of the cold, the infection. It will cleanse the infection in it's own way but you must treat the infected wound everyday with marigold and clean it with water," Honeytail instructed.

"Thank you so much," Cloverpaw meowed gratefully.

"I don't know why Fireclaw would leave you alone to take care of such a wounded cat," Honeytail frowned.

"He sees it as a "challenge" for me," Cloverpaw confessed. Honeytail frowned again.

"See you at the next gathering," Cloverpaw called on her way out. Honeytail waved with her tail, absentmindedly before turning back to mixing her herbs. Cloverpaw bade Leafstar a farewell and Nightclaw escorted her back to the border.

When she arrived back at Shadowclan territory she raced back to her den. Rowanclaw was lying in his nest, sweat drenching his thin layer of fur.

"No! No!" he muttered, twitching in his dreams, "No! Not her! You can't kill her!" he wailed. Rowanclaw thrashed out violently in his sleep, fighting against some unstoppable enemy.

"Rowanclaw!" cried Cloverpaw, shaking him awake. His eyes snapped open. In an instant his claws shot out and he pinned Cloverpaw to the earthy floor.

"Glad you're feeling better," she meowed weakly. He seemed to recognize her.

"Sorry, bad dream," he muttered.

"It's fine! I figured out how to make you better!" Cloverpaw meowed with false cheerfulness. His ears perked up and he grinned.

"Really?"

"Yep!" Cloverpaw meowed. He motioned for her to get going and she had to smile. It was like he was a kit at his apprentice ceremony. She soaked a few moss balls in water and grabbed a mouthful of marigold leaves.

She carefully searched his body for some signs in infection. She found some. Dark, hard skin made a thin bumpy trail over to a wound under his front left leg. The wound had swelled into a giant, puffy red blister, and was caked with pus and dirt.

She winced, feeling squeamish. She steeled her self before ripped off the giant dirty lump. He howled in pain. Blood poured from the wound and she stopped the flow quickly with some cobwebs.

"What was that for?" he hissed.

"Sorry that was where the main infection was. I couldn't let the spot of skin stay on," she explained.

"Why does everything have to hurt?" Rowanclaw meowed grumpily.

A few moments later she carefully removed the cobwebs. She cleaned the wound with water and moss and then applied the marigold.

"That feels better," he sighed. Cloverpaw grinned.

"See, I know what I'm doing," she teased. He rolled his eyes. She fed him some catmint and had him lie down again.

Cloverpaw continued to do this for the couple of weeks and slowly Rowanclaw's strength returned and his injuries began to heal faster. One day he even ran across the clearing, but ended up bumping into a tree on the way.

Fireclaw was back now, and he was surprised that Cloverpaw had figured out how to heal Rowanclaw. She said that Honeytail had helped her and he was slightly mad that she had left camp without permission.

But yet, Cloverpaw seemed to be everyone's favorite. Perhaps it was because she was healing their beloved deputy. Perhaps it was because they were proud to see Cloverpaw, originally a squeamish young apprentice, growing up.

Rowanclaw's P.O.V.

Cloverpaw was a miracle in my life. She kept me happy on my bad days and figured out miraculous ways to fix me. Slowly I began to mend my friendship with my family. Whisperpaw visited me every day, and I could tell she was becoming fast friends with Cloverpaw.

It was unceasingly irritating be blind. I was chained in a world of darkness. But my other senses strengthened leaving me as the best tracker in the clan. My hind leg that was twisted upwards never did come down. It healed that way. But my other hind leg slowly regained it's strength. Soon I could walk just as well as any other clan cat.

My front legs became powerful, since most of the weight was on the them. I leaned to climb trees by just using my front legs and Cloverpaw and I began practicing battle training. I wasn't as great runner or pouncer as I used to be but I had to say, I was amazing at close combat.

One swing from my front paw knocked Cloverpaw out for hours. I kept my claws sharpened and even attempted some hunting. I didn't do great with the land animals, but animals that could shimmy up a tree, well let's just say I could get up a tree ten times faster.

I could tell that Shadestar was pleased with my progression. Some nights I heard her asking Cloverpaw when I'd be able to return to be being a warrior.

Ah, a warrior. It was the obsession of my life. I wanted to be one so bad it hurt. Whenever I asked Cloverpaw she avoided the question. I was confused. I thought I was getting better! Wasn't I?

One rainy night I was just drifting off to sleep when a terrified scream echoed through the air. I lifted my mouth and inhaled deeply. A rotten stench flooded my scent glands. Badger. But it was confusing. What were about twenty badgers doing in Shadowclan camp?

Cloverpaw and Fireclaw rushed out. I hauled my self to my feet and raced out side. More screams echoed through the air. A battle had began. My clan mates battled the badgers bravely but I was afraid. What if we lost?

Suddenly a familiar scream sliced the air. I bounded forward. In front of me stood a giant badger. Whisperpaw's scent flooded away from it's jaws. It was going to break her neck! With a hiss I sliced the bridge of his nose.

Warm droplets of blood spattered me. The badger dropped Whisperpaw and faced me growling. My senses were going a million miles an hour, trying to tell me what my eyes couldn't.

He was going to strike. I dodged just in time and then smacked him in the face. He roared with pain a back away.

_"This isn't a cat! Kill him!" _I though furiously. I lunged forward and buried my jaw in his thick fur. I bit an bit till I tasted blood. I took one final bit and ripped his throat out. The badger collapsed. Whisperpaw stared at me in shock.

"Are you alright?" I asked harshly. She nodded mutely.

"Then go help your clan mates." She raced off and I looked around grimly for my next enemy.

That night I don't know what over came me. I fought like a demon, slashing through the blood and pain, killing badger after badger. I didn't know why they had invaded our home and tried to kill us. None of us did.

But a similar urge pumped through all of us. Protect Shadowclan. Kill the threat.

It was far into the battle when I heard it. A desperate wail. The sound of pain. A dying animal. Unwanted memories ripped through my head.

_The pain was everywhere, ripping and tearing, destroying my body. At some point I felt my legs twisted up, and a bone cracking sound filled the air. My eyes were brutally ripped out and blood seeped everywhere, coating everything._

_And of course, there was the scream. The high, horrible scream of someone being tortured beyond belief. The scream of pain. It was me._

I jolted back to reality but the scream didn't stop. I lunged through the crowd of bloody fights and found the source.

Cloverpaw.

Funny, sweet, sarcastic Cloverpaw, was lying under a badger. I could smell the blood coating her fur, making her small, like a kit. I could sense that she was broken and twisted. I smelled the blood. It was her blood.

With a scream I launched my self at the badger. The stupid creature never had a chance. I ripped him apart with my claws and teeth till he didn't exist anymore. Tears flooded my face.

I raced to Cloverpaw's side.

Cloverpaw's P.O.V.

Cloverpaw stared up at him. Once she would of thought it creepy that he was crying with no eyes. But now she just felt the pain.

She would have to leave them, all of them. She wished it wouldn't hurt them so much. And there was also the pain of the wounds. They hurt like fire on her skin. But she'd be gone soon and it'll be over.

She smiled up at him.

"I'm so proud of you Rowanclaw."

Rowanclaw's P.O.V.

I felt the life leave her. I shook her. She couldn't be dead. She couldn't!

A horrible wail escaped me. No! No, not Cloverpaw!

The next day

It was a misty morning, I could feel it on my fur. I lifted my head out of Cloverpaw's fur. I had sat vigil all night for her. The pain was still beating me like I was a drum.

"Let all cat's gather beneath the High Stump for a clan meeting," Shadestar called from her perch on a stump. Slowly the other mourners and I stepped away from Cloverpaw's body.

"We lost a great cat last night. She was so amazing she healed a cat we thought beyond healing. Cloverpaw gave her life to protect Shadowclan from badgers and I hope she went Starclan knowing that we won!" Shadestar called out.

Half hearted cheers rang out. Everyone would miss her.

"Before she departed Cloverpaw healed Rowanclaw, my former deputy. Rowanclaw, please step forward," Shadestar meowed sadly.

I stepped forward. For some reason, I wasn't very happy.

"Rowanclaw, you survived great hardships and avenged a great cat's death last night. You will return to your status as a warrior and my deputy. By the powers of Starclan I give you your new warrior name. Rowanclaw, you are now Rowanluck," Shadestar announced.

I lifted my head in shock. Luck was brought by clovers.

"I hope that Cloverpaw lives on with you," Shadestar finished. I felt dead. How could I keep living?

Suddenly I could see. I could see Cloverpaw. She smiled.

"Be happy! I will live with you as Shadestar said," she whispered before dancing off into the sky. I smiled.

I would never forget the young brown apprentice who saved my life.

**Rowanluck. Ugh. I know, horrible name. But at the same time it's kind of sweet. :) so please don't say anything about that name unless if it's nice because I know it's bad.**

**Thank you for all my lovely reviewers! Thank you Sightless Silver Eyes! Your helpful comments were much appreciated! I finished the story Misgiving! Now I get reviews :)**

**I hope it's okay that Cloverpaw died. I didn't see anything about not allowing it in the rules. I can change it if it's against the rules!**

**I hope everyone enjoyed this umm... Threeshot I guess :)**

**(Sorry if I made some mistakes, I'm really tired and my sister is blasting the T.V. :)**

**- Madison **

**Or**

**Minnowkit soon to be Minnowpaw!**


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